Welcome back! Yesterday, we left off at the big “C” word, commitment: the big concept, the giant it that gets me over the hurdles: the “C” word is easy enough to say, and a whole other thing to live.
Let’s take it from there.
In fifteen years—sixteen and three-quarters, counting courtship time—I’ve learned a lot about what it really is. (I’ve also been lucky enough to have a partner who shares that mindset. Two months into marriage, after our first real argument, we decided the “D” word—divorce—is not a choice. No judgment implied; there are those who have no other choice or have the choice taken away. We just happen to be a Taurus and a Leo who often function on loyalty, which supposedly keeps our crazy connection…connected!)
So, what then, is commitment?
It’s deciding when to put myself first, or him, or the kids. By no means a black-or-white choice, but usually the most subtle nuances of proverbial gray.
It’s choosing to respond with kindness when I’d much rather snap someone away.
It’s preparing two (sometimes three) meals out of respect for those who don’t like what I much prefer having.
Most of all, it’s choosing to have no more ‘bad’ days. Making a conscious decision, on those days I’d rather live with my laptop (and some great book I’m reading), to have a ‘commitment’ day. That little mindshift made a huge difference.
Sometimes a slew of those commitment days get slung together in a continuum that seems to have no end. That’s up there with the toughest of all. Yes, I’ve lived it. I’m sure many of you have and/or do. Remembering it can’t be any easier at its other end is a challenge, too. Remembering that though, helps—a lot.
Then, there are the impasses. I think that’s when it needs to be called in full force, to decide how a given situation will be handled. We’ve worked some out. We’ve discussed others way more loudly than I care to admit sometimes (luckily, only a handful of times in our time together). And sometimes, we’ve made a conscious decision to disagree on a said subject as well as an even more conscious choice to not discuss it ever again. (That one can take a little more effort sometimes, especially if one or both of us initially forgets that we chose not to discuss it! )
And how does any of this apply to writing?
Well, it provided me a rich topic to write about, lol!
Depending on how seriously I take my writing, I need to view it the way I view my marriage and family life.
First and foremost, my writing is a commitment I’ve made to myself.
I’ve also committed to my readers and that very loyal block of you who read everything I put out there, no matter what, no matter why. (And I do thank you more than I can communicate to you!)
There are things about writing I love. These are only a few that make the commitment a no-brainer.
first draft (when it’s flowing);
reader comments and feedback that let me know someone got exactly what I wanted to convey.
that gorgeous new cover;
that scene that falls into place.
Getting to know other authors who relate to the insanity in my head but understand I’m not out of my mind (well, maybe a little).
Cause for Commitment days (note the boldface capital c): No flow, no ideas for the current work-in-progress (a really BAD place for a pantster like myself) or for that next blog I should have written. Knowing how much more promo I should be doing, but my real-life doesn’t necessarily allow or I’m lacking the confidence to go out there. Everyone around interrupting me or not taking my writing time seriously, crabbing that she’s on the computer again! All the other crafts I gave up because this one demands so much time and mental energy. The TV I don’t watch anymore—most of it isn’t much to see anyway but some great story ideas are out there.
Like my marriage and family, separation from my writing not a choice.
Now that I’ve told you about my commitment to my writing, how do I show it?
Not giving up on that most recent work-in-progress (wip) just because I’m having trouble figuring out exactly where it’s headed;
Revising the previous one again!
Writing this blog, lol!
Now, it’s your turn to talk about commitment! Tell me what IT is to you and how you show it in different aspects of your life: family, job, self, etc.
Don’t forget to leave your comment to be entered into a random drawing for a digital copy of No Matter Why. If you already have yours, pass this link on to a friend or someone you think might enjoy the post. Winner to posted on Sunday!
Thanks again for joining me! Love being back doing what I did when I first started this blog!
A great day and wonderful weekend to all,