OMG! Wedding Anniversary #19!!!

Good morning, blog-visiting friends! Always a pleasure when company comes by!

Taking a moment to wish my hunny a very happy NINETEENTH wedding anniversary! Can’t believe how much time has elapsed! Grateful beyond words to be sharing this journey: still growing and changing, as individuals and as a couple. This link is for you! (But whoever wants to can check it out. Sometimes, you just “gotta.” :D)

fred.and.wilma

Image credit: http://www.allthingsclipart.com/flintstone.cartoon.clipart.htm

In the past, I’ve commemorated this day by writing a post on commitment. Rather than re-invent the wheel again (!), I’ve linked you up, should you care to peruse any of the essays. The last is not so much about commitment, but it counts: one of my favorites: it’s about romance and Olympic figure-skating gold-medal legends, Ekaterina Gordeeva and Sergei Grinkov.  (All links are below.)

Paul and Joanne single

Hunny ‘n’ me–back in our single days. (Image credit: IDR 😉 )

Hey! It’s My Anniversary—Again!

Wedding Anniversary (#17)

The Big “C”—Part 1

The Big “C”—Part 2

The Most Romantic Moment

Have a wonderful week, everyone! Thanks for indulging me. (And extra hugs to my hunny!)

Joanna

Hey, It’s My Anniversary–Again!

Hi all! Hope Monday (and the rest of this week) finds you all well. I’ve been dealing with a sinus infection all weekend and haven’t had energy to do much. At least Saturday ran an NCIS marathon; Sunday brought the Barcelona ATP Masters Championship featuring Rafa Nadal in the final. That worked-and the maestro of the clay courts won, too. Yay! (Thought I was linking to a single photo. What the heck–enjoy!)

Back to today: married eighteen years to my hunny and beginning to get the whole ‘depth’ thing that goes along with a long-term relationship. He and I are known for our differences, but we work hard at being respectful of what makes each of us who we are on the day to day. I promise too, that opposites really did attract on every single level, even down to us viewing my laptop screen: him with reading glasses, me with distance glasses, lol. Yet, one day at a time, one situation at a time, we’ve made it to Wedding Anniversary #18 (and even like each other today).

What keeps us strong? Speaking only for myself, choice.  As I’ve written in previous anniversary posts, choosing to be committed on those rare days I not want to be. Truth is, no matter how wonderful a relationship, it takes work. True, some might take less work than others, and there are those who find themselves in a situation in which only one person is doing most of it.

That’s par for the course. Ideas about a 50-50 share of the work is common, but most folks may not consider that 50-50 is an average number. And those of you who are mathematically inclined understand that an average is gained by adding varied sums and dividing by the total number of sums used.

What does that translate to? Simple, math-wise anyway. Sometimes I do more of the work. Sometimes hubby does.

Honestly, I may be more blessed than some. Hubby and I rarely fight, as in it gets nasty and/or ugly between us. (Maybe five or six times in eighteen years? Not bad, right?) Despite our disagreements and fundamental differences as people, we try to talk things out and approach each other as friends. I’ve also come to know that I need to explain my point of view the next day, or when we’re not in that angry moment, when one or both of us might not be thinking clearly. (That’s just plain-old impulse control, friends: an imperative life skill to practice no matter what the situation or setting, i.e., work, home, etc.)

Neither of us likes being at odds. Fortunately, those ugly times usually last little more than a week, and even when the stretch has been (much) longer, we’re still respectful when dealing with the matters a household and family bring. No directing the kids with, “Tell your father…” or “You can let your mother know…” Fights (between almost anyone, I think) are often about control issue(s) anyway. Being aware of that makes a huge difference—period.

I could probably go on and on but I most certainly will not! 😀 I will, however, point you to a pair of previous posts on commitment. (Find those here and here.) Please, also take a moment and visit April Cassidy’s Peaceful Wife’s Blog. She covers a range of related topics and shares much wisdom.

This was taken at my bridal shower. Geez, my favorite Frannie Drescher   (as Fran Fine) got nothing on this big hairdo!
This was taken at my bridal shower. Geez, my favorite Frannie Drescher (as Fran Fine) got nothing on this big hairdo!

And before I forget, happy anniversary to my hunny! My humble gratitude and love to the guy who has shown his own side of love and commitment to this looney lady all these years! I am blessed.

Until next time,

Joanna

FAFF, New Love, Anniversaries and Life Lessons

Happy Friday and next-to-last-day of April friends. How is it almost May already?

Okay, before I go further, please indulge me while I digress briefly and address those of you in the Union, NJ area: I’ll be sharing a table with fellow Wild Rose Press author M. Flagg at Union High School’s vendor night from 7-10 PM! (I’m awful at promo, people, and didn’t consider this an ‘appearance’ until Ms. Flagg reminded me. :)) I hear they’re vying for table space and will have all kinds of great wares–just in time for Mother’s Day (and wedding anniversaries ;)–are you paying attention, hubby?

Speaking of wedding anniversaries, how can it be #16 at my end? And sixteen years ago, who would have ever thought I get to share the date with a royal couple? (Best wishes William and Kate!) If I read her comment yesterday, author friend Laura Hogg and her husband share the date with us, too. So in the spirit of romance, weddings, new beginnings and couples standing the test of time…

I picked my wedding song long before I met my husband. Kept it a secret, guarded it closely for a very long time. It wasn’t popular or a secular standard. The song would be a unique choice (or so I thought) for that day when I committed myself to someone else for the rest of my life.

About twelve years ago I read a powerful biography: that of Mary Kay Ashe, founder of the much-familiar Mary Kay Cosmetics (skin care that I swear by as those of you who read my most recent guest-post at Chris Redding’s blog on 4/15). As per Mary Kay’s book, this remarkable woman lived a fairly hard life very much on life’s terms but somehow made the best of whatever situation came her way. One chapter in particular (named You Can’t Outgive God) stood out.

Seems Mary Kay was a stickler for being prepared whenever she had to address a group publicly. Due to unforeseen circumstances the night before she was to address a church group about fundraising possibilities for the church’s new building, she was unable to prepare her speech. The next morning, Mary Kay honored her appointment. In an off-the-cuff moment, she felt inspired to match dollar-for-dollar the amount of money the congregation raised. She never imagined the amount that was presented her—somewhere approximating $1 million—during a time when her assets were tied up in other projects.

The woman had faith and for good reason. As Mary Kay sat there wondering how she’d honor her promise, her son called, his voice laced with excitement. Seems an oil-well she’d invested in came at exactly the right time and the cash Mary Kay needed became available exactly when she needed it. Her message to the congregation when she told them about her miracle? “You can’t outgive God.”

How does this tie in to a life lesson of mine? I’m married sixteen years today. Girlhood dreams of my wedding morphed into more concrete possibilities as I progressed through my twenties (and with no prospects, lol). At age thirteen I picked my wedding band; I was bridesmaid for my cousin and saw it on the back of one of her bridal magazines. (Can you believe I thought twice about it when it was time to pick rings? The jeweler looked at me and said, “You’ve wanted this all these years now you’re thinking about it???” Good thing she said something!)

And you already know my wedding song was chosen, Steven Curtis Chapman’s I Will Be Here. (Good thing hubby liked it, too).

Our first dance as Mr. and Mrs.

Enter one of my co-workers of the time, a departmental assistant who tended to be moody and not necessarily the best-liked person in the department. She had an upcoming wedding but expressed ambivalence about her song (the wedding, too, I think—but that’s another story…). She was probably the last person I would have ever considered sharing the title of my song, but something moved me to do so. She loved it and chose it for her first dance with her new husband.

Of course, I met my honey very soon after that. The rest, y’all already know and once again, I, like Mary Kay before me, am convinced that “you can’t outgive God.”

         

Shall we talk similar experiences? How has God, Higher Power, Universe–whatever force you feel active in your life–outgiven you? I’d love to read your story (and if you think it’s too long for the comments section, email me privately and we’ll set you up with your very own Friday post!)

Have a great day,

Joanna